God's Love for Us and Herbie

The past 24 hours or so have been a blur for us, but one thing is for sure: God is in control. Yesterday, Patrick and I went in for a routine baby appointment that turned into a nightmare, then a blessing, then a total demonstration of God's love for us and our precious baby. We were not scheduled for an ultrasound yesterday - just a routine 2 week checkup, but I had some minor concerns (less movement in baby - but still some, and I was measuring larger than normal, which means baby was bigger than average). Basically, Patrick talked the doctor into doing one "just to make sure everything was ok." It was providential that Patrick asked for that -- just another example of God's control in this situation.

The ultrasound revealed fluid around the baby's abdomen, and the doctors and specialists could not immediately determine the cause, but thought she was going into heart failure and that an infection seemed most likely initially. In fact, they thought an immediate delivery of the baby (even though she's only 31 weeks along) might be the best thing to save her. In light of this scary news, Patrick and I took some time alone to pray. We both felt this sense of unexplainable peace. We knew that this problem was bigger than either of us, but more importantly, it was being handled by something much bigger than us -- God.

The specialists have performed several tests - an amniocentesis to test amniotic fluid, a cordiocentesis to test blood from the vein in the umbilical cord, and several blood tests. We've also had lots of monitoring to follow the baby's heartbeat, which has been inside the normal range at all times and is certainly an answer to prayer. I've also received two steriod shots to help develop the baby's lungs in the event we have to deliver her early. Basically, I've had lots of needles of all sizes poked in and around the baby, but all the pain is worth it if we can determine why the fluid is there and make sure the baby is as healthy as possible under the circumstances. These tests will determine if the fluid is caused by a chromosonal/birth defect problem, a liver function problem, an infection (and possibly determine exactly what type of infection), or none of the above. We already have the results that its not anemia, which the blood tests showed. Best case scenario is that its not a chromosone, infection, or liver problem -- those will most likely require delivery sooner rather than later. If there is not an urgent reason to deliver, they will monitor me and the baby more closely, and then, once they doctors determine that it will be best to treat the baby outside of me, then they will proceed to delivery. The tests normally have a two week turnaround time, but our doctor has really pushed for a 24 hour turnaround, so that we can get results before the weekend.

There are so many Bible verses that have come to our minds over the past day or so. We've been reminding ourselves to "Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding" (Prov. 3:5). This morning, I read a great verse on a friend's blog: "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more that we could ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in Christ Jesus for ever and ever!" (Eph. 3:20-21). Their baby was born at 26 weeks, spent alot of time in the Presby NICU, and just celebrated his first birthday. What an example of God's mercy and love! (UPDATE - Friday morning I found out that my friend's brother-in-law is the specialist that has been performing all our tests. Its truly unbelievable how much God has a hand in all of this!!). Tonight, I received an email from my Uncle Steve with a Bible verse that has been so touching this evening as we await the test results: "Thou art my servant; I have chosen thee, and not cast thee away. Fear thou not, for I am with thee: be not dismayed, for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee; yea I will help thee; yea I will uphold thee with the right hand of My righteousness." (Isiaiah 41: 9-10). Steve said that he and my dad used to read that to eachother in the King James Version of the Bible (as I quoted here) whenever times were "low." That is so meaningful because I know my dad dealt with some very, very low times during his struggle with cancer, yet he persisted in his trust in the Lord. We, too, are trying to follow that example and truly feel like the Lord is in charge of not only our lives and the baby's life, but also the doctor's lives. God and his grace are the only ways to explain the peace we have felt over the past day or so. We can't help but wonder if this is just a little bit how Daddy felt when he was diagnosed with cancer -- like Jesus was in the room with him.

We have been blessed by so many people offering up prayers for us, the baby, the doctors, the situation - everything. We don't know what tomorrow's results hold for us, and we don't know how long we'll go before we have to decide when to deliver the baby. The consensus among the doctors is that she will be delivered early, but we hope to keep her inside as long as possible since that is the best place for her to continue to develop. But God has a plan, and we are certain of that. And He is with us.